There may be some substitute for hard facts, but if there is, I have no idea what it can be.
Too many people waste valuable time and precious resources wondering what other people are thinking, intending, or doing. Rather than just asking them for clarification, they make assumptions usually assuming against themselves and then make decisions based on those assumptions. Successful people, on the other hand, don't waste time assuming or wondering. They simply check it out: "I'm wondering if" or "Would it be okay to?" or "Are you feeling?" They are not afraid of rejection, so they ask.
People Always Imagine the Worst When they Don't Know What is True
What's the fundamental problem with assuming anything? It's that people are usually the most afraid of that which they don't know. Instead of checking into things, they assume facts that may not exist, then build prejudices around those assumptions. They make bad decisions based on these assumptions, on rumors, or on other peoples' opinions.
Consider the difference when you know all the facts, the actual facts about a situation, person, problem, or opportunity. Then you can make decisions and take actions on the basis of what is real rather than what you are making up.
I remember a seminar I once conducted where one attendee sitting in the back of the room looked like he just didn't want to be there. He looked hostile and withdrawn. He had his arms crossed over his chest. He had what looked like a permanent scowl on his face and looked like he hated everything I had to say. I knew if I wasn't careful, I'd end up focusing on him and his apparent hostility, to the detriment of everyone else in the room.
As you can imagine, no speaker wants to hear that an audience member was forced to come to the seminar by his boss or that he is unhappy with the material or even worse that he dislikes the speaker himself. Given this participant's body language, it would have been easy to assume one of these things to be the case. Instead, I checked it out.
I approached him during the first break and said, "I can't help but notice you don't look like you're in a really good space. I was wondering if maybe the workshop's not working for you. Or maybe you were sent here by your boss against your will and you really don't want to be here. I'm just really concerned."
At that point, his entire demeanor shifted. He said, "Oh no. I'm loving everything you're saying. But I feel like I'm coming down with the flu. I didn't want to stay home and miss this, because I knew how good it would be. It's taking every ounce of my concentration just to be here, but it's worth it because I'm getting so much out of it."
Wow. If I hadn't asked, I could have ruined my whole day assuming the worst.
How many times do you make assumptions—good or bad—without checking them out?
Do you assume without checking when a special project is due that all parties will deliver on time? Do you assume without checking that what you're providing is what everybody needs? Do you assume without checking at the end of a meeting that everyone is clear on who is responsible for getting which action items done by which date?
Imagine how much easier it would be to not assume anything.
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